Addressing Hope & Fear while Terminally Ill

Hope & Fear When Terminally Ill | Stop Feeling Afraid or Hopeless

If you know you are terminally ill then you may feel very afraid or hopeless. There is no doubt at some point you will question why you are carrying on, what you have to look forward to and why this has happened to you. How can you begin to find hope in the darkest of situations?

The most common hopes of those with terminal illness are:

That their faith will carry them through.
That a cure will suddenly be discovered for their particular illness in time to save them. Many people make it their personal mission to search the world for that cure.
To last as long as possible.
To enjoy what time is left without too much pain.
To die quickly and with minimal pain.
To die with courage and dignity.
That loved ones will be able to manage and will be happy again.

The most common fears are:

That death will be painful.
Loss of dignity and control.
That loved ones will be damaged and unable to manage.
If children are involved that they will not be looked after properly.

The most common regrets are:

Failure to achieve potential.
Places not seen.
Missed experiences.
Missing family growing up.
Relationship regrets.
Unresolved arguments and fractured relationships.
Lack of faith.

Often a diagnosis of a terminal illness and the concept of hope don’t fit comfortably together. Many associate hope with a cure or being able to live to a ripe old age. Finding hope in these difficult circumstances is more about changing your perspective from focussing on the quantity of life to the quality within your life - whatever it’s length may be.

This may be a good time to consider:

Your faith.
Mending any arguments or fractured relationships.
Trying new things if you are able.
Making sure arrangements are in place to look after your dependents.
Leaving a financial legacy or fund raising for others in difficult circumstances.
If you are interested in your illness and are trying complementary approaches, try leaving a medical diary or blog that may help those trying to find a cure for others in the same situation.
Making plans to look forward to such as visiting favourite or longed for places, or special foods to try.
Spending more time and talking with your friends and family.
Passing on a skill to others.
Creating a memory bank for your loved ones. Create a special box of memories for children or loved ones. Create memories or videos to pass on skills or knowledge when you are gone. Record stories or tales or put aside time to share these memories before you die.

Be hopeful. Your frame of mind will have a huge impact on the way you feel day to day. If you have goals and aims that are realistic, you can still find reward and happiness in your life despite your illness. The more hope and positivity you can draw on, the less room there is for fear and other negative feelings.